Are people inherently....selfish??

I've always believed that people are inherently good. I've always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt. I've made excuses for people who've done me wrong. I treat people the way I would want to be treated. AND I've been taken advantage of.

I've always been a friend as best as I can. I'm there for people. I listen and I advise (when asked). I share my knowledge, my food, my home, my money. I've painted rooms, helped clean, given free design work, and treated to dinner when someone's pockets were tight. I send cards or gifts even when I never received one from them. I give rides and do favors and almost never ask for anything in return - and definitely nothing that would inconvenience someone. Where are those who are supposed to be there to bolster me, love me, encourage me?

I dunno. You tell me.

I know people are busy and everybody's got their own "stuff" but are people so self-centered that they can't take the time to make a phone call or reach out to me? Do they think, "Oh, she's , got other friends, so I don't have to invest in that friendship anymore,"?I've gotten to the point where I don't think people are so inherently good anymore. I'm starting to believe people are inherently selfish and all they care about is what they can get from you. I'm tired of getting phone calls only when someone needs something. How about returning my calls when I just want to see how you're doing? Or how about just calling me to see how I'm doing?

SIGH.

Well, nobody likes a pity party - especially me. I just really wonder: What happened to being a friend for the sake of friendship? What happened to being happy for the blessings of your friends instead of being jealous that you don't have what they have? What happened to caring and being there for someone? Is it this crazy money-hungry that breeds this selfish way of life? Is it the commercialism and idea that "whoever has the most toys wins" and that we're all in some sort of competition to get to the finish line first? Is it all about how we were reared by our parents? Too many questions to answer that leave me wondering on that ole saying..."

A friend in need is a friend indeed." But there is also a Latin proverb that says, "If you always live with those who are lame, you will yourself learn to limp." I refuse to limp.

Hypocrites

Life is sometimes unfair but still we have to deal with it in our own ways. Some people are just purposely want to hurt us by having those negativity towards us. Tell me why should we care so much? Not being selfish, but people can say whatever they want about us. In the end, we know who we really are.

Sometimes people can think of many possible ways to hurt and to let us down. Tell me why should we bother again right? Yes we are not living in this world alone. But those people who try to ruin you are not those who you can consider as your friends. Maybe it's true after all. You can have as many friends as you want, but those you can count on can only be counted with one hand fingers. Tell me why should we cry for them? Because when you need a hand to hold, most of them just are not there. Some of them can just make it even worse.

I've learnt a lot in this life just like everyone else. So as an advice, just take a good care of those people who love and appreciate you for who you are. Those people who brings out the best in you without looking at those negative side of you. Those who find you special and not counting on things that you lack of. Those who would laugh and cry for you and willing to share almost everything with you. Most importantly, you should appreciate yourself because you know yourself better than anyone else. Only you can take care of yourself and only you can make the best and the worst out of yourself. You are the boss of you.

Abuse in a relationship

Many women assume that if they're not being physically abused by their partner, then they're not being abused. That's not necessarily true. You may be in a relationship which is draining something from you -- you might not have recognized that your partner has eroded your self-esteem and happiness.

You might be confused about whether what's happening to you is abuse. This info helps you understand the different kinds of abuse.

Abuse or violence in a relationship is about a pattern of behaviour that one person uses against another to intimidate them and to get them to do what they want. Abuse is not just physical violence. Emotional or sexual abuse can be just as harmful as physical violence.

Examples of these forms of abuse are:

This is when your boyfriend or girlfriend puts you down, ignores you or calls you names. It may be about what you are wearing, or how you're acting. They may want you to stop spending time with your friends and question you on every detail of what you've done without them. They may use jealousy or anger to intimidate you or to control your behaviour, or might deliberately humiliate you in front of others. They might try to manipulate you and make you feel wrong, inadequate or like you're crazy. Another form of emotional abuse is if they threaten to hurt themselves or other people if you break up with them. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse. Emotional abuse is if they threaten to hurt themselves or other people if you break up with them. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse.

Emotional abuse is if they threaten to hurt themselves or other people if you break up with them. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse.

This involves physical acts such as hitting, slapping, pushing, kicking, pulling your hair or choking you, or threatening to harm you in any way. It could involve using a weapon or an object to threaten or hurt you, smashing things or driving a car dangerously to frighten you. Hurting someone physically or threatening to hurt them is a criminal offence.

This involves pressuring or forcing you to do sexual things that you don't want to do. Even if they have not physically forced you to have sex with them, if they tried to manipulate you or coerce you into having sex when you didn't want to (like if they say 'you'd do it if you really loved me' or 'you're frigid'), this is still sexual abuse. It is also sexual assault if you have been drinking or taking drugs or if you were asleep or unconscious and you were not aware of what was happening. Rape and other forms of sexual assault are criminal offences.

Addendum:
I've seen variations of the below text on the internet. It wasn't written specifically about this problem, but it struck me as a fairly accurate description of how impossible it is to interact with an emotional abuser. (Damned if you do, damned if you don't.)

If you argue with him, he says you're stubborn.
If you're quiet, he argues with you anyway.
If you call him, he says you're needy and clingy.
If he calls you, he thinks you should be grateful.
If you don't act like you love him, he'll try to win you over.
If you tell him you love him, he takes advantage of you.
If you dress sexy, he says you're a slut.
If you don't dress nice, he says you look bad.
When you don't sleep with him, he says you don't love him.
If you do sleep with him, he only does it the way he likes it.
If you tell him your problems, he says you're bothering him,
If you don't, he says you don't trust him.
If you try to bring up a problem, he says you're bitching.
If he brings up a problem, he yells.
If you break a promise, you "can't be trusted".
If he breaks it, it's because "he had to".
If you cheat, he wants to punish you by locking you up or beating you.
If he cheats, he expects to be given another chance.

P/s: If you are in an abusive relationship, please get help and

talk to someone

Goodbye and HELLO to the NEW me...~ =)

Am I supposed to put my life on hold

Because you don’t know how to act

And you don’t know where your life is going

Am I supposed to be torn apart, broken hearted, in a Corner crying?

Pardon me if I don’t show it

I don’t care if I never see you again

I’ll be alright

Take this final piece of advice and get yourself Together,

But either way baby, I’m gone

I’m so over it, I’ve been there and back

Changed all my numbers and just in case you’re wondering

I got that new

I’m a single girl swag

Got me with my girls and we’re singin’ it

Na na na na, na na na na

Hey hey hey

Goodbye

Na na na na, na na na na

Hey hey hey

Goodbye

Cut my hair ‘cuz it reminded me of you

I know you like the long ‘do,

Had to switch my attitude up

Thinkin’ of changing up how I ride, No more

On the passenger side

Too bad you miss out on the way that I drive it

I don’t care if I never see you again

I’ll be alright

Take this final piece of advice and get yourself Together,

But either way baby, I’m gone

I’m so over it, I’ve been there and back

Changed all my numbers and just in case you’re wondering

I got that new

I’m a single girl swag

Got me with my girls and we’re singin’ it

Na na na na, na na na na

Hey hey hey

Goodbye

Na na na na, na na na na

Hey hey hey

Goodbye

Hey hey, hey hey hey

Goodbye

I’m so over it, I’ve been there and back

Changed all my numbers and just in case you’re wondering

I got that new

I’m a single girl swag

Got me with my girls and we’re singin’ it

Na na na na, na na na na

Hey hey hey

Goodbye

Na na na na, na na na na

Hey hey hey

Goodbye

Goodbye

Na na na na, na na na na

Hey hey hey

Goodbye

Na na na na, na na na na

hey hey hey

Goodbye

Goodbye

GOODBYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeee~!!